In Between DaveJohn songfic
by Bucketswag
Summary: Dave's been avoiding John for a while and offers an explanation. Complete with alternate endings, one sad, the other happy. T for swearing


A/n: Just a song fic to Linkin Park's song In Between with a couple of our favorite Homestuck characters. Needless to say, I own neither. Also, there are 2 endings, the first is sadstuck and the second is a happy ending. Enjoy!

It's Friday night, and your best friend, Dave Strider has pulled you out of the house and you have no clue where you're going. He tells you that there's something you need to hear, and that as your roommate and best friend that he thought you needed to get out of the house for a while. You had just shrugged and allowed him to bring you with him, driving silently from your apartment to only god knows where.

Recently, he's been acting weird and you don't understand why. Dave's been avoiding you. You'd come home from school or your part time job as a cashier at the small bookstore on main street and he wouldn't be there and you only knew that he came home when you heard the door of your apartment close and the springs of the sofa sag under his weight as he crashed there for the night. And when you woke up in the morning, he was gone again. He has a life and you understand that, between classes and his jobs as a server at the bistro a few blocks from where you work and his weekend dj-ing, but you knew he was spending a lot more time outside of the house than he had been.

He pulls the car over by the park and turns off the motor, turning the key so that the engine was off but the dashboard remained lit. You undo your seat belt and watch him for a few moments before speaking up, "So it's nice that you're actually around for once, but Dave, what's going on?"

Dave puts his hand up as a motion to be quiet, something he doesn't do often. He reaches to the dash and flips a few switches and a soft music begins to play. You're confused, because it's not something he put together himself, it didn't have the feeling to it that his music had. But what cemented it was when he started singing. Dave hadn't written lyrics for any of his mixes, ever, so you knew it wasn't his own. When he started singing, you stopped and payed attention to the lyrics. His voice was soft as he started singing, " _Let me apologize to begin with, let me apologize for what I'm about to say. But trying to be genuine was harder than it seemed, and somehow I got caught up in between_."

He pauses the music and looks at you for the first time this evening, " Obviously I'm trying to apologize for some shit, and I'm being as genuine as I can be. I guess I'll explain if you're willing to listen."

You nod silently and his hand goes back to the stereo to restart the music. His voice picks up and he begins singing again, "_Let me apologize to begin with, let me apologize for what I'm about to say._ _But trying to be someone else was harder than it seemed, and somehow I got caught up in between_."

"I hate having to do this," He says pausing the music again, "Being away all of the time and avoiding you isn't who I am. I hate it. I want to apologize for being gone so much recently. And I know you're angry with me about it, I can see it in how you looked when I asked you to come with me. There's another thing I want to say that kind of goes along with that verse but we'll get to that. I'm sorry John, I'm not done yet so please just..."

He starts the music up again and sings the next verse, "_Between my pride and my promise, between my lies and how the truth gets in the way. The things I want to say to you get lost before they come, the only thing that's worse than one with none_."

You look at him and wait for an explanation after he flips the switch and it doesn't come at first. But after a few moments he speaks up again, "Do you remember the promise we made after we got out of that god forsaken game?"

Suddenly you're nodding and speaking for the first time since you got in the car, "We promised to stick together through anything else life could throw at us. And that we'd stay best bros."

"Exactly," he says, "And I've been kind of stuck because I'm always trying to keep the whole cool thing up and stick to my promise because it's important to me. There's been something I've wanted to say since we started going to college together and living together and I haven't because of those and the fact that if you hate me after I couldn't deal with that. Shit, we'd both be alone again now that Rose and Jade are off halfway across the country at some girls college. I mean, you have your dad and all but...shit you know what I'm saying."

You nod, a little confused but understanding. He fast-forwards the song a little and pick it up there, "_ And I cannot explain to you, in anything I say or do, or plan. Fear is not a afraid of you, guilt's a language you can understand. I cannot explain to you, in anything I say or do, I hope the actions speak the words they can_."

Again he stops the music and he doesn't move or say anything. 3 minutes pass by before he moves, and when he does, it's to place a soft kiss on your lips. Your automatic reaction is to recoil and you do. He looks at you sadly as your lips part and he backs away. Softly he murmurs, "I'm sorry."

"W-why?" you ask, "Dave, what's going on?"

"I...fuck, John, I've been in love with you for the past three years. The first summer we spent together when we were 18, after we graduated I realized it. But I couldn't say anything because I didn't want to mess anything up. And up until a few weeks ago I was able to hide it. But there's only so much I can take Egbert. That's why I started avoiding the apartment. I just...I just couldn't do it anymore. I can't be someone that I'm not." He replies looking away. He stares into the night when he's finished speaking.

You're torn up inside about what's going on. You're not sure what to feel, your emotions are rushing around inside of you.

Sadstuck ending:  
>"I...I'll be out of the apartment by the end of the week." you say when you've gathered your thoughts. His head lowers, and he reaches up to take off the sunglasses you gave him the year you turned 13. With shaking hands, he took one of your hands and placed the now folded shades into your hand. His hand retreated and soon enough this face is in his hands. The way he trembles, you know he's crying. You wish you had the heart to comfort him, but you can't do it. You can't bring yourself to do that for the one person that you thought, since you were 13 and went through that god forsaken session of Sburb, that you could trust. But to know that for the past three years, that person had those kinds of thoughts about you, it broke something inside of you. You couldn't do any of this any more. The parting gifts you left your once best friend was the sound of you leaving the car, and leaving him with a broken heart.<br>A line of the song he sang rang through your mind, "_the only thing that's worse than one with none_."  
>And you know in this moment, it's true.<p>

Happier ending:

"Dave, I...I don't know what to say." You mumble, stumbling over the words. A bright blush has made its way on to your face.

"I'm sorry." He says softly, and you hear the deep levels of sorrow that he must feel. You sit quietly a few minutes, mulling over what had happened. You thought about all of the time you had spent together, raking over every moment you had spent with him since even before you had turned 13, from the day you met him. You think about it all, not a memory left untouched, until he kissed you. And you recalled the way he kissed you. It hadn't been like the times you had kissed the few girlfriends you'd had over the year and had eventually broken up with. Unlike those times, it had been full of passion from him, and it had felt good. You asked yourself, 'could I?...Could I love Dave?'. And the more you think about it the more you find that you can.

When you look at him, it's obvious that he's shaking. It must have taken so much for him to say what he's said, to do what he's done, tonight, and for the past three years. It pulls at your heartstrings and you find yourself tearing up. He must notice that something is off because he's not looking out the window any more. Even with his sunglasses on, you can tell he's looking at you. You look at him with tears in your eyes and watch mutely as he reaches over as though he was going to wipe away the tears. He doesn't though, and you know it's because he doesn't want to do anything else that would drive you away. And you know it's because he fears being alone, because the song he sang was true, "_the only thing that's worse than one with none_."

In that moment, you make the next move. You lean over the armrest dividing you and he, and bring your hand up to his cheek. It slowly moves up and you're removing his sunglasses. You see the fear in his eyes, the fear that you are going to take the one thing he cherished the most, the item that he associated with every memory between you, and leave. But you don't. Your hand moves back to his cheek, and you lean in and kiss him.

It's not a long kiss, but when you feel the emotions he's trying to convey through it, the happiness he feels, the joy of you not having not left him, and the pure amount of love he felt for you. And you try to convey the same feelings. And then you're both laughing, laughing in joy for what had happened, and laughing that it had taken this, and this long, for both of you to come to this.


End file.
